Aellyce

I used a bit of many approaches that seemed to be interesting and helpful, but never used any "program" as prescribed. I used my scientific knowledge that helped staying sober and dealing with temptations, but it did not help getting sober in the first place. I've used SR a lot, in a variety of ways. I also had your dilemma regarding the Steps, several times in fact. In my case, I had absolutely no reservation about AA or the program, the reason why I never worked the Steps officially was because I remained sober doing other things and was a bit lazy to add more.

I would say, if you have an interest in AA and step work, go for it. If you think it might help in ways other things don't help, go for it. What can you lose after all?

I'm not sure it's about "wanting" to stay sober so badly. I think it's more about motivation and commitment, sometimes against desire. I had really ambivalent feelings about wanting it or not initially as far as my automatic desires and impulses would go. My conscious, rational self definitely wanted recovery, but had countless drinking urges all the time and during those, I would not say I did not want to drink. But I didn't do it.

The question is, what do we each need to get through that phase when we are flooded by desires for alcohol? I think in the beginning we don't typically know what we need, more just recognize it sticks somewhere down the road, and then it becomes easier to continue. This is why whenever I suggest any "method" to anyone, it's to explore and experiment whatever is available and looks potentially useful.