I do think this thing with your friends is an issue worth contemplating, glitter. Not everyone is willing to hang on to relationships no matter how much discomfort they cause. Some people develop boundaries designed to protect them from difficult and draining relationships. Some people come to believe that they have to protect themselves before they can be a good friend or lover to anyone else. I know it's hard to contemplate that your relationship with your husband has made involvement in your life look difficult or draining to people around you. But maybe the reappearance of this friend back into your life is an opportunity to consider the possibility of healthy boundaries, and to open your eyes to the fact that setting boundaries with someone does not mean that you no longer care about them? It sounds like she cares about you but finds your husband draining.