Originally Posted by
jjj111 
Glad to hear you're reading Codependent No More, that book helped me a lot! Recognized so much of my patterns in there, and the book gave me a new way of detaching--somehow I didn't realize that it was possible to detach *with love*. I had always detached in anger, which led to guilt and reattachment! Kept me stuck.
About your friend: maybe this is your HP working in mysterious ways, reconnecting you with old friends? The fact that she distanced herself might not be anything personal towards you; it might just be that she has learned over the years that she does not like being around active addicts. I think a boundary of not wanting to be around active addicts and the difficult relationships they tend to have is one that many people end up adopting to protect their own serenity. So maybe this is a chance while your AH is away to reconnect with this woman from the new place of serenity you are building for yourself?
I don't know
I am struggling with this. Three of my best friends turned away from me, totally dropped me from their lives. Well, actually the only friends that I had . One appologized several years later. I think it's wrong, we have been through so much together, I have supported my friends through it all - breakups, divorces, one of my friends husband sold drugs at the time . I hated the fact that she was married to such a person, but I would never drop her from my life , especially when she needs me the most. I don't know what to do
I feel like there should be no conditions in love and friendship. Maybe I am wrong?