Soberintexas007

Well,
Tonight my husband reminded me of the denial I was in yesterday when I was beginning to believe he may not be an alcoholic and possibly only a problem drinker. How he behaved tonight reminded me of the all of the incidents that caused us to have to move out of my parent's house due to him becoming irrational and insane when he drinks.

So we went to Applebees for dinner, and he knew that he could have a couple beers since it was an off day of work tomorrow for him. The waitress (who is a recovering alcoholic herself and who knows of my husband's history) tells him that he should get their special beer for the night which is 9% alcohol. Of course he got it. Well, he had his two beers during dinner. I think he wanted a third beer because he wanted to watch the Warriors basketball game until the half, but it was already the half, so I told him we are going and don't try to get a third beer out of me because it wasn't going to happen around me tonight. He complied.

On the way home, he started to become belligerent and aggressive and started wondering why he hasn't received any mail since moving into our own apartment. I calmly told him that he has received mail, and that I have taken care of it like I have in the past. He demanded to know where his mail has been going. I told him that he was becoming aggressive, and that he was only acting this way because he drank two strong beers, and that he has never wondered about his mail before. He was being irrational and insane like in the past. I told him that if he did not knock it out, I would be going to my parent's house to sleep. He calmed down.

When we got to the grocery store, he was pretty aggressive with the clerk when they did not have any more green onions. He saw that something was bothering me and asked me. I told him that I don't like his drinking, and that this is how he gets. He apologized and told me he loved me (if he had continued drinking, I don't think he would have mellowed out to this calmer state).

Anyways, now back at home in our apartment he is "normal" again and nice due to the fact that some time has now lapsed since his last beer. I asked him why he got so upset about the mail, and now that he was sane again, he really could not figure it out.

This event has really shaken me and triggered my anxiety due to past events. If he had drank more, he may not have calmed down in the car, and it could have turned into mayhem.

It is probably just a matter of time that my husband drinks too much, does not calm down, and that I go to my parent's house.

Oh well. In the meantime, I am telling myself just to focus on my own sobriety and continue to take care of myself. Seems like my husband will eventually hang himself, figuratively, that is.