If in the past you were always compliant, and she bought the right to do whatever she wanted to do with your shame, now things are different, and yes, she's going to react to that.
I agree with happybeingme and the others who said that the two of you setting new communications rules is going to be part of the process of your sobriety. It might be helpful to have a therapist involved who can mediate.
I also agree that her response was way excessive, unfair and manipulative.
Congratulations on your 11 weeks!