The money thing will work out in time. I have to admit, it took longer than I wanted (and I have no kids, unless you consider the four legged critters who are meowing at me). I, like you, had people who were willing to help me.
I'm slowly paying them back, but they are more concerned that I'm okay. That's what people do for you when they love you and want to help.
I had a hard time accepting help, I thought I should be able to take care of myself, dammit.
What I've learned is that HP has a big hand in the overall picture. People were there to help me when I needed it, they are willing to take whatever I can do in paying them back.
These people care about you and the kids. My suggestion is do the best you can do, let him do what he wants to, but protect you and the kids. It's not fun to depend on others, but in the long run? You find out who really wants what you and the kids need.
Stay safe, take all the help you can get, and keep working at being independent of this guy. It will work out. Been there, done that, got the t-shirts
Hugs and prayers,
Amy