Originally Posted by
axelsmama09 
I truly feel your pain. I am riddled with it. Its insane. I literally got up 15 times last night checking windows, hoping he wasn't home. I never know what I am in for, I stopped caring about "who" he was talking to at the bars A LONG TIME AGO, now all I seem to care about is how is he going to behave? Is he going to wake the kids? How quick can I get him to pass out? ITS INSANE. He has never been physical with me, but emotional warfare can be just as bad. Breathing helps, but not much. I never used to be this way, I know it is totally related to him and alcohol.
Heard a great quote once that you many relate to: those lines on my forehead? They aren't wrinkles, they are marks left by the window blinds from staring out the window all night.
I totally get it. It took me a long time to learn how to cope with the evenings when I didn't know when or where he was. I learned that
1. If something's worth me losing sleep over it, I will find out when the phone rings in the middle of the night. Otherwise him out drinking somewhere is old news and I need my sleep because somebody has to take care of our kids tomorrow
2. On nights when he is home and drinking I bought a noisemaker to keep by my head so I can drown out the tv noise from downstairs and the kids have fans going in their rooms to muffle the sound
3. On nights when it is bothering me and I am having a hard time going to sleep, I take Unisom
4. If its too late for Unisom (because I woke up at 4) I get on here and find some experience strength and hope
Glad you found us. Stick around