Start and fail
This is regarding the assertiveness I am working on with T. I do not know how to be assertive, I know how to be a doormat. I am afraid if I speak up for myself/something that has to be done at work people will think I'm a b!tch.
So I was working last week with a colleague who really doesn't like to work much and he talked me into being charge nurse for night shift. I honestly wasn't comfortable with that as I've only been at my job for 2 months. So the next time I was to work with him before he got there I was talking to the evening charge and she said, so are you taking over my patients then? She only had 2, charge isn't really supposed to have patients, except at night. I told her I'd rather take a team. She said, Oh well S likes to take a team, so I just told her I didn't want to be charge, so I got my wish. But if he had asked me, I would have felt bad for saying no. So T challenged me to be assertive and speak up.
Well I worked with the same guy weds and he asked me to be charge and I just said I wasn't comfy with that as I haven't been there long. He took charge. Grumbled about it, but did it. Last night I worked a 12 hr night and the other night nurse came on at 11 for an 8 hr shift. Again she was like, well you have been here since 7 and know what's going on. I backed down and took charge and had to review a lot of transfer requests. I hope I didn't screw them up. Why can't I just BE CONSISTEN for God's sake. Blergh. Really upset with myself now.