Tired, I did feel that way sometimes in the first few months. I was resentful and felt like I was missing out. Mostly though, I felt like Patman - I was lucky to be out of that insane life and was grateful for the peace. Eventually I grew to appreciate & treasure my new life - it's wonderful to be free.
I'm glad you wanted to talk things over here. I hope it helps with the anxiety and frustration to know you're among friends who understand.