Tired
Hey guys, me again. I just got off work it's been a long night. Day five Since the beginning of his relapse/super binge. Still going strong with no contact. I was doing so well the first few days. No the dues are starting to get longer. in my mind starting to think morning. I'm tired of him. Of my job. Of being the only responsible adult in the world right now. (so it seems) I don't want to miss him right now. These past few years he's been nothing but a miserable **** to be around not to mention blaming me for it. When I would love to go out and be able to relax and have a good time as much as the next person. But I can't because it always ends bad. But things are starting to creep back in. I know you have to look at The person as a whole and not separate it, which I was really bad at (had to slay the monster so my prince could be free) but I really really am starting to backtrack. And have some, not all, of those thoughts of not being good enough. And I don't know how to turn it off. So my question is how do you do that I guess? Because I'm really starting to feel overwhelmed and I'm crying like a big blubbering baby which I hate because it truly was his fault and I know that. But I miss the Smile on his big stupid face. /Sad face