Is he holding the card, or could someone else have used it?
My son was in rehab and could leave. He was in a long term program through the salvation army. He left for the work he was doing there, to go to meetings and had some free time too. He could grab smokes, get coffee or pick up whatever else he may have needed while out. I think he was there around 3 weeks before he was permitted to leave.
To your original question at times it takes practice and lot of it. In the beginning I set a rule I gave the insanity in my head I let myself generate because of my
husband's addiction have 5 minutes a day and that was it. I played out all the crazy then and consciously worked on keeping my thinking where it should be ... on me,
the kids, in the present and not in some future trip or what if scenario. My husband's addiction was first, so with my son I was better equipped.
I wrote in a journal a lot, writing helped me save myself. That was where I learned the most about me.
Step 4 was a huge help, it gave me a starting point to figure out why I was as I was. I volunteered ...
Everything from my new job, to the class I took, to the renovations I did along the way, to the meals I cooked to the people I spent time became part of my recovery.
It actually had to. I became was so closed off, internal, in my head, out of my mind, drinking, taking pills, and basically went down fast, mainly after I let go, but it
was very obvious that his addiction while not the reason was a nice fix...
The music faded out, my gardens were a mess, I wasn't building anything, or creating or reading. I was depressed, overwhelmed by anxiety and fear in the watching.
You'll find what works for you. I learned so much by reading boards like this. Was like a sponge taking it tricks and tips and tools others had found success in using.
Some worked, some didn't and I just kept pushing along.
Take good care.