In these relationships we lose sight of our instincts because the A is telling us how we feel, what to do, what's up, and what's down. Learning to trust our instincts again is a big step in recovery. FWIW, asking him if he's been drinking is pointless. You already know deep down, so nothing would really change if the words did come out of his mouth. What would you do with that confirmation? The behavior is the problem, not the words.
