Originally Posted by
ubntubnt 
Serper, I have not read your background but I can tell you this: You are damn right this is serious. You could have killed someone or a family. I have every sympathy in the world for your addiction problems. I am also an alcoholic. But if you are driving around out of you mind drunk and high then you have a major problem and it needs to stop.
Coffee is not causing this and neither are the cigarettes. The booze, benzos and weed are. If the booze is leading you to weed and benzos then start with that. Whatever way you cut it all three need to go. If you are an alcoholic and that is your main problem then start with that.
You joined a year ago. So you now know full well that moderation does not work in virtually all cases and it does not work for you. So therefore you need to quit completely, forever. This is a truth that you need to face and you need to quit immediately. See a doctor if you are conceded about DTs, by now you know all about those also.
This means doing it the hard way: Quit, draw up a recovery plan, never drink even a single beer again ever, identify your triggers and plan around them.
Smoke or don't smoke and drink or quit coffee, whatever helps. Whatever stops you drinking. Pick up new activities, eat as much as you want or need. Whatever it takes just don't drink. Consider attending AA, it sounds like you need as much help as you can get so I would recommend it. Again, whatever stops you drinking.
Your way does not work. You need help and support and an iron resolution never to drink again. So here is what I do EVERY DAY and it got me to 11 weeks:
- use AVRT to combat cravings and keep my addiction at bay
- attend an AA meeting for group support and to understand RECOVERY as opposed to ABSTINENCE
- read and post on this site to learn more, engage with people and to help where I can
- read the AA big book and research online
All in all I spend 3 or 4 hours EVERY DAY on my recovery. Obviously I will not do this forever but in these early weeks and months I personally feel it is necessary. And do you know what, if your alternative is killing someone else in a car crash then it should be your priority too.
Thanks for kicking my ass with this post. Are we allowed to say that word on here? Anyway, you are right. I need to focus on one thing at a time. I never smoke pot so that is a non issue. Smoking increases my desire to drink, but when I quit smoking, I get so stressed I want to drink. So it's a lose lose. I'm going to continue with the smoking and coffee for now, because they keep me happy, but I will quit them together eventually. I hope to be able to have coffee one day again. But I want to have a few solid months without smoking first. The benzos are rarely used. I don't daily drink anymore, so I didn't go through any withdrawals even though it was a dangerous combination of benzos and weed and alcohol and cigs and caffeine on friday night. I'm done with day 5 an I feel physically fine. Although I did have to take a benzo on day 1 day 2 day 3 I skipped day 4 and took 1/2 tonight. I was hit so hard friday night I just want to let me neurotransmitters reset slowly. I don't plan on taking any more benzos unless absolutely necessary. I am a med student and I really cannot afford to spend 3-4 hours on recovery per day, but It's constantly on my mind and I've been doing an hour to an hour and a half before bed. The biggest difference this time around was that I told all of my close friends and family that I was quitting forever. So I have a good support group of people checking up on me, plus you guys of course. Thanks so much for your post.