Is you really make DECISION about booze, and then never choice ever come up in you mind again? If so, wow!
no, Cow.
that was the point of my answer to Jennie. i didn't make a decision THIS time.
i had made the forever-decision a gazillion times before, and sometimes lasted a few days, maybe a couple of weeks. most often, not even a day.
THIS time i had decided to try again after a little cabin-holiday i was going on, in about three weeks from then. i was tired of failing; couldn't face failing again for a little while and so i set a date for a few weeks away.
then the clarity hit me.
it wasn't a decision. it was simply the only way to go. there was no more question, no more decision.
it was a surrender to the rock-bottom truth of it all.