Because of the pain he was in for the gout, he decided to stop drinking. I blew up and started screaming at him and asked him to leave once again.
Hi Rose.
I keep coming back and reading those two sentences. Forgive me if I am taking a too wide intuitive leap. It sounded like you were angry he said he was going to quit drinking, and I supposed that was because he will change his behavior to eliminate his own pain, but has ignored yours.
When Rasputin was here at Christmastime, he took advantage of a logistical snafu, and managed to collect a chunk of money that was meant for me. He also knew how much I needed it. I had thought he managed it in an early morning and split immediately. Actually, he'd picked it up the night before and had the timerity to come back here and pretend. I should take a hint when he starts making intense statements out of the blue. The whole visit had been pleasant and normal, and I don't think the subject of addiction or recovery had even come up, except maybe some general references to things on these boards. (He reads them sometimes, too.) I believe I was talking about feeding the cat, when he strangely remarked " You people on your BOARD, you think you know. You think I don't think about anybody but me. (That) I don't care about anybody else. Well, I think about it. I think about it ALL the time."
THAT beligerent statement came out of the mouth of a man who had just embezzeled from me. I guess he was already feeling guilty. (?)
What you said made me think of that. I realize how little what I think, feel, endure matters to him when there's an opportunity for him to get high. I just stand around dumbfounded with my mouth open sometimes when he says things like that. Tunnel vision.
I just wanted to say, Rose, that if I heard you right, BOY did I hear you!!!
Hugs,
Dop