fini, I understand SJ question, which is: at end of day, at end of times, at pivot point, did you no finally "choose" sobriety for whatever reason or catalyst, even though before this, at all such times, choice had fail you? And if not, then how did you arrives at sobriety?
As for me, my intellect has no visceral preponderance. It go life...mmm....death...mmm.... my mind need support of emotion, oomph, energy, power, some sort of thing whatsoever for to make it go, oh, alright, yes, we go this way, this way better. Just because is logical, rational way is not have much impact to my mind, although, my mind even nonchalantly ponder that. That why I make sure to include in my definition about anhedonia that "One well-replicated finding has been that individuals with anhedonia fail to develop a response bias even towards rewarded stimuli." That mean, even if decision is no-brainer and I clearly rewarded for choosing certain way ---next time decision come up, brain is still like, meh, either way, whatever. AKA, my brain less lucid than a hamster.
Trach, behaves. Or I site you for flagrant use of smiley.