[QUOTE=SoberJennie;5162368]Didn't you make a choice though? You could have chosen to continue drinking, but you didn't. So didn't you choose to quit drinking?
You lost the power of choice for moderate, normal drinking.
That's how I see it anyway.
no, Jennie, i didn't just lose choice for moderate, normal drinking. i can't remember last time i wanted moderate, "normal" drinking or aimed for that.
i wound up drinking when i had freely chosen not to. again and again and again.
this was the insanity, for me. the word compulsion is usually defined with something like "irresistible" in the definition.
i cannot "explain" it to you or anyone who doesn't simply get it. i couldn't explain it to myself. that apparently any choice i made NOT to drink i couldn't reliably stick to. i spent years in that torture, and sober months sifting through it later.
sorry, but i've spoken to it over and over and clearly cannot find better words. words are just an approximation.