Hi Rose
Sounds to me like Rose is settin' some new rules, and I think they all make sense. If he is home all day, then certainly he can do his share.
I do my husbands laundry - but he does the grocery shopping and much of the cooking. We just work it out by who is home when and share the work. When he was working out west we each looked after ourselves (obviously
), so there is nothing either of us cannot do - it's just a matter of preference and sharing.
Also, has you husband seen his doctor about his gout? There is medication that helps prevent the onset (I think it is something like "alopurinol") and also to relieve the pain. Gout is a form of arthritis - also called "Gouty Arthritis" and you can treat the cause or your can treat the symptoms of inflamation.
Just keep looking after you Rose - one day at a time.