What a difference a week makes! Last Sunday I woke up with a pounding head, shaky, sick, full of self loathing....I really did a number on myself and perhaps there was some purpose in that. Today I wake up full of energy and hope. I will not stand on a soap box and promise the world that "I've got it this time FOR SURE", but there has been a shift. My greatest take away from Jason Vale's book is....."I am not missing anything when I don't drink and all that I thought it was doing for me was in fact all an illusion!" I had a great weekend and there was alcohol around me at all times. I did not try replace it or romanticize it. I simply get it in my head that there was nothing to miss! As a result, no cravings, no "bitchiness" around those who were drinking and no self pity. I felt in control and content.....even in my long stretch of sobriety I never really felt content so this is new.
For anyone who is a chronic relapser like I have been....KEEP TRYING!!! You never know what will finally bring about the shift.
Thanks again SR for being here!