I've been married to my addict/alcoholic husband for almost 25 years. He didn't start using until about year 22 into our marriage bit has always drank but never seemed to be an alcoholic. After all my reading and researching I now know he exhibited addicted behaviors for most of his life. He was sent to a rehab facility and left after 21 days claiming all was right with his world and he use needed a kick in the pants. He immediately ordered a drink at the airport bar. He seemed to jump back into his work and the late nights started up again and soon he wasn't coming home at all.
I'm skipping over some months so this isn't too long or monotonous to read but after nearly overdosing in a seedy motel room he was revived by paramedics and then arrested. He was sent to a state rehab facility and completed that program and is immersed in AA and doing well. He is eleven months sober and has a knew outlook on life. I am cautiously optimistic that he will continue on this road of recovery. We also have been together since we were 19 and married young while still in college. I stayed with him because it hasn't always been this way and I feel he has lost so much that I didn't want him to lose our children as well. My kids looked to me for cues on whether or not to forgive( two in college and one in high school) and I know all they needed me to do was say to hell with him and they would support me and never look back.
We are all working on our own healing and some days are good and some days are not so good but we are all communicating and supporting each other. I know we are the lucky ones as some of the people he was in rehab with have either been arrested again or have died due to overdosing. Drug addiction is a daily fight and addicts have to wake up each morning and vow to stay clean/sober for that day.
Sorry- not much advice given but it feels good to share. First and foremost take care of yourself and your children. You never know how strong you are until something like this happens.