Wow class, I just can't seem to keep up with all the posts! Moving along quickly.
I've had a too busy of a day. Meeting at 9 am, came home, made brunch, walked doggies, watched my grandson, cooked dinner, cleaned up, and went to the gorcery for a few too good items on sale to pass up!
Being busy is good, but I'm feeling a bit overworked today. Need to find a balance. It goes this way with me when I'm sober. I tend to take on and do too much, then I'm left feeling depleted.
I'm recently new to AA again, and I'm already starting to have issues with people there. I can't attend 90 meetings in 90 days. They are getting pissy about this. I haven't found a sponser yet, because I'm looking for the right fit for me. They insist I get one NOW, even a temp one.
Talked to the guy who gave the lead meeting today, and told him a bit about my past, and how I was once a social drinker. Then somewhere I crossed the line, and couldn't even tell you when that happened. But, its true.
He was like, so you really believe you were once just a social drinker? I said yes. I agreed the root of the cause, or disease was there all along, it just hadn't progressed that far, yet. I was upset because he wanted to change facts, as I see and know them, about my drinking journey. That's why its called a progressive disease, right? Or am I wrong ?
Most people there have been super supportive so far, but this has left me thinking I'm not sure about AA again. However, I will keep going for awhile. I perhaps need to seek out other means of support? I'm not knocking AA at all, but if they keep trying to discount my story, and facts, as I see and know them, then all is lost there. I refuse to be brainwashed. I'm trying to take what I need there, and leave the rest, but they don't seem ok with that. What to do? I feel pressured already! At 9 days in? What?
I feel like no matter what I try, or do, it just doesn't seem to be a good program for me? I can't afford physc visits, or an inpatient, or outpatient program. I don't think I need that, but a counselor would probably be a good start. Can't afford that either.
Sorry for this all about ME post, I'm just confused, and a bit bewildered about what I should do next.
Thanks all for being here, and just listening. Of course, any and all thoughts, comments will be great.
Blessings to all.