life without pain isn't living
life without pleasure is slowly dying
forgiveness is hardest when myself i'm forgiving
gratitude eludes me when my heart is lying
days are short when they're all the same
nights are long when i'm trashing in pain
i feel so damn lonely when i hear your name
when you're near it is happiness i try to feign
beauty brings sorrow when it's out of reach
contentment tomorrow since it escapes me now
philosophy has nothing left it can teach
nothing but doldrums behind my brow
what good is a choice at a fork in the road
if the outcome's a mystery whichever i choose
the road not taken still means dragging my load
choices and destiny both seem like a ruse
i'm not hear to discover what it all means
the only meaning in this is that which i create
i'm blessed and/or cursed by my heritage and genes
unnecessarily challenging this life is of late