I went through the stage your at now Cow, at around age 28.
No one knew what a unique little snow flake I was, no one could tell me much of anything.
I'd describe it as my "deaf know all" phase.
Hard to tell a deaf know all anything right?
Besides that, I had my head well and truly planted up my own backside.
That didn't do much for me, but it did give me a rather sh#tty view of the world.... Lol.
One day you'll hear an explosive sound, that'll be the sound of your head popping out of your own backside.
When that happens, you'll be ready to actually take the necessary action to get well.
I hope that day arrives Soon.
Till then, try and decide if this "existence " is what you want deep down.