in hindsight, this is where boundaries and/or a plan come into play. you can't control what HE is going to do....but you do have control over what you do. you need to know your own limits, your own threshold.
quitting is never the hard part when it comes to addiction.
STAYING QUIT is the real b!tch. while no relapse is a GOOD thing really, there are degrees, at least in my opinion. going to a bar, having one beer, realizing that's stupid, leaving and not continuing to drink is one thing....deciding to go whole hog, hitting the bar, spending $300 on booze, hooking up with the dope man and pulling an all nighter is quite another.
your anger is probably your underlying fear speaking. it can be very scary when they drink or use again. cuz it COULD mean the end of things....in one way or another. learning how to express that anger in a way that does not demean or belittle the other person is a skill we all should learn and employ! learning how to change "you stupid @ss sun of a b!tch what were you thinking" into "i hope you are done now and this will not be repeated, as i will not live with an active alcoholic addict" or something more neutral.....