If you go to the A forum and someone on there relapses, you can't believe the support that they give him. I am floored. They tell him to get back up on the horse and take one day at a time. They support him and don't crucify him at all. They all live with such guilt. But the A reached out to the forum and confessed what he did. So he really is trying to be honest with what he did.
My idea is watch what he does with the relapse. You have to understand that the relapse hurts him more then you, if he truly wants to be sober. Who are we to judge, are we perfect. Should we be watching what he is doing. If you are working your program you would have no time to be monitoring his.
I have not been so lucky to experience any sobriety from my XAH, so maybe I am wrong on my comments, but that is how I feel.