Hello everyone.
Thanks a million for the support everyone. Just as "Jsbodhi" posted, I have been self loathing all day, wondering why I did this. I must be insane, because I know the result and yet I keep doing it all over again. Granted, longer stretches between episodes but all of it is unacceptable.
I read peoples posts that started SR just about the same time I did and they have 1 year sober or 5, 6, 7, 8 months sober and I keep thinking what on earth am I doing wrong?
One would think that waking up dry heaving, sick to my stomach, bloated face and road maps for eyes would get it right by now.
I have to be honest I am so sick of day one's, but its my own damn fault. I am so deflated with failure.
Oh well, there is only one option and that's to get back up, dust myself off and move forward I guess. I cant help but think about the last month and a half of feeling great and now I have to start over again...