Thanks Eddie, its so helpful to hear your words, as one who has been/is there. I appreciate your response. I have tried to remember that its not an overnight process, but its not easy!
We agreed to talk each evening about the day, and go over a list of possible relapse signals - things that we each see/feel. He said, while at rehab, that up he wanted to "carry this list with him all the time" to help him remember what changes to make in his everyday routine.
We agreed that it was ok for me to say something (in an "I feel" sort of way) if I was concerned with anything I saw.
Some of these things include not interacting with the family, not communicating, doing things that used to trigger his anxiety and drinking.
So far in 2 days, he's not talked to me, just goes to meetings and watches tv alone in the bedroom. Has not even emptied out his suitcase.
He's exactly the same as he was before except not drinking.
I know it will be hard. I want to support him 100%. I understand mood swings - he was on klonopin for 9 years and is still withdrawing from it with horrible symptoms. I feel bad for him.
I was prepared to do all i needed to do to support his recovery.
We are participating together in a year long outpatient support program through his rehab place. I want to learn all I can so I'm not an enabler or a fixer.
But I feel that what he did tonight was not right. He told our daughter that he would break her jaw. Because she yelled at him to not treat me the way he way he was.
She had to watch him freak out and hit himself in the face repeatedly. How difficult is that for a daughter to witness, and to hear, no matter what age?
Then he comes back and says he's sorry to her.
I'm so upset right now.