Is this a result of alcohol and cocaine use or is he just an evil, abusive pig without drugs?
You've gotten some really good feedback on this question. I think my answer would be "it doesn't matter."
It doesn't matter if it's the addiction or a true mental illness or if he's just enjoying being evil. It doesn't matter.
What does matter is that -- as someone else said -- it's
him. His behavior has nothing to do with
you. When he's abusing you, you're just a placeholder, just a victim, any victim. You can see yourself when he calls you overweight that he's off his rocker -- that's something that's objectively observable. My ex called me fat too at a time when my friends were concerned that maybe I had anorexia because I was so thin.
An abuser will call you anything they can come up with.
The problem I found was that... the stuff that
wasn't objectively observable was more difficult to get out of my head. Maybe I was a liar. Maybe I was a bad wife. Maybe I wasn't loyal enough.
I can say that it took me a long time to get his voice out of my head on those things. It took me a while to stop beating myself up with the weapons he had used. But step by step, I learned to identify his voice in my head and say "No. That's not me. That's a voice I no longer have to listen to."
And you will, too. As long as you keep moving forward and don't go back.