Jodie,
My ex was abusive, everything that you wrote was said to me, perhaps in different ways, but they were all said. I remember once my ex decided to go to therapy because I was leaving him, because I was too afraid to live with him. He saw this therapist about 4 times before she wanted to meet me. I brought a list of 143 things that he had said to me, similar to what was said to you. She told me that's not the person that she sees. She gave him the list and asked him if he agreed with it. He said all but maybe 1 or 2 things.
You really are lucky to be out of that relationship. The abuse gets worse. Once the words don't hurt, they will get violent, because they need to have that control.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))
amy