Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are in this position.
Questions:
1. What is my role in this? We talk about the three C's a lot here. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, you can't cure it.
2. Does my drinking have impact on her? Not really. I used to drink with my husband. I eventually quit doing that but his drinking continued to increase.
3. Should I be concerned with her hiding alcohol? Well - there isn't much you can do about it but it is a red flag that she has an unhealthy association with alcohol and a signal to you that you can not really believe what she says about her drinking. Actions speak louder than words. Always always believe the actions - therein lies the truth.
4. How to I overcome the hurt of being deceived? That is a hard one. I'm not sure you can overcome the hurt but you can manage your expectations - which helps me. People that are alcoholic or have trouble with alcohol lie about what they drink. That is pretty universal and it isn't about you and her feelings about you - it is about addiction.
5. Am I forgetting something or jumping to conclusions? I don't think so. Hang around SR. There is so much wisdom here and in the stickies at the top of the forum. There are recovery programs for people with addiction but there are also recovery programs for their families. There are different programs - I'm not familiar with them all so can't recommend a specific one. You might want to check them out and see if one is a good fit for you.
I personally used SR, a counselor that specialized in addiction, a few al-anon meetings, and read a ton of stuff - lots of it recommended in one of the stickies above. I continue here with SR and reading things when I can.
Based on personal experience I waited way way way to long to accept that I could not let my kids ride in the car with my husband (now ex). He loved his children but he put them in danger by drinking and driving. I left them alone with him when I shouldn't have. I'm so so thankful today that nothing bad happened but it could have. He was not abusive but there was way more risk than I was admitting (lots of denial on my side). I did eventually address those issues but I should have done it earlier.