Welcome to our world. I will go right to your questions. If you want rationale just ask for it. But the simple responses are below.
Questions:
1. What is my role in this? NONE. Despite what she tries to tell you otherwise.
2. Does my drinking have impact on her? I don't drink often, but when I do drink socially I can consume quite a bit. It probably allows her to feel like she can drink and it not be a problem since you are. You can stop drinking, but she won't.
3. Should I be concerned with her hiding alcohol? Concerned yes. Invoved. No. If you find it, it won't stop a thing and will only cause a drama. I got the whole, You invaded my privacy lectures.
4. How to I overcome the hurt of being deceived? You may never overcome it. But you need to learn about how to detach yourself from the this train that will be de-railing in the not to distant future.
5. Am I forgetting something or jumping to conclusions? Forgetting something? Not sure where I can answer that. Jumping to conclusions? Yes. And that isn't supposed to be a bad thing. You are not stupid. Trust me you will feel plenty of that before this is over.