chronsweet

Dandy - YES - that statement is so true. It is what finally helped me start to realize that I wasn't the person he was projecting me to be. His projections and his addictions were his to own. Not mine. I am broken in many ways (CODIE) but I am also compassionate, empathetic, smart, courageous and responsible.

In almost every story I have read about on here, the question is asked, "How could he/she do this to me?" It is the same universal question and there is really no answer. There doesn't need to be an answer. The question that helped me was, "Why am I letting another person treat me like this. Why am I allowing my son to live in this kind of a home?" What is ultimately wrong with me.

I can fix myself. I can think about what I am thinking and come to a different end result. I can shift my own delusional reality. I can show my son that there is a better way to live.

Shift the focus from him and why he is thinking what he is thinking and start thinking about why you are thinking what you are thinking. Why are you thinking it is okay to ponder and try to comprehend why someone you love and care for is treating you so badly. It comes down to what so many in SR have said, it's the actions of a person that define them (and OURSELVES TOO).