When I was in my worst stages of drinking, and everyone was telling me I had to quit, and I was trying and couldn't do it...my life felt like I was on a pier in the middle of a hurricane, strapped to a deck chair, and life was pounding the hell out of me, wave after wave, situations and conditions after situations and conditions, event after event, lecture and condemnation after lecture and condemnation....and the only thing I could say, most often to myself, was...can't you see the alcohol and drugs are the only way I can survive and maintain in this storm (daily life as it seemed very real to me)??? Alcohol was my snowsuit in the midst of the blizzard. It was the only way I could actually make it to see you at the hospital, in my mind.
I could not fix myself, through any process of reasoning or observation of reality. My reality was that life was beating the $#!+ out of me and I had to drink to survive it...couldn't you recognize that??? I could not fix myself, and it was ONLY after repeated attempts and FAILURES at AA that I finally completely gave up, got a Sponsor that had worked the 12 Steps as they are presented in the AA Big Book, and worked the Steps under his direction. It was a period of pure HELL.
I am now completely FREE! And I KNOW ANYONE CAN BE ALSO. For me it took SURRENDER, then following the AA 12 Steps, listening to a lot of AA speaker messages that are easily found thru a web-search on the Internet, and going to a lot of AA meetings where I slowly made some accountable friends, which came mostly thru my Sponsor. It worked for me, and I was HOPELESS, completely consumed by the Incomprehensible Demoralization as described in the AA Big Book. Incomprehensible means just that, for the Addict AND everyone around them. I could NOT fix myself, and neither could the people around me...HOWEVER, I am now HAPPY, JOYOUS, & FREE...and ANYONE can be.
The 12 Steps ALWAYS work when completely and thoroughly worked as presented in the AA Big Book.
RDBplus3..