Hello all,
I'm not really sure what sub-forum to post in as its applicable to all. However, I'll just post here as I feel "most at home" here. Alcohol is the main problem anyway.
Today is day 48. I'm surprised at how much easier staying off alcohol has been than I expected. Xmas, New years eve , get togethers and so on. I managed to survive them all fairly unscathed. At all of them there was at least one person drinking and at some of them the drinks were flowing. I survived and I prevailed. I owe this sobriety period to SR , my doctor , the inventors of Antabuse and myself.
There have been a few episodes where the cravings kicked in. A couple where a little hard and I fought through them and they usually subsided within a few minutes.
For some reason today has been the hardest day for me. It came out of nowhere and has hit me like a brick. I feel like a real mess today.
I'm not sure what the weather is like where you all live , but here in Australia its particularly hot (summer) and I have a strong association with heat and beer. The things that go along with summer bbq's etc etc just make those associations even stronger.
I was at a friends and he also had another friend over and they were having a few beers. Lately I would just watch and feel pretty pleased with myself that I haven't wanted one too. Today things were quite different. I had the biggest hankering for a beer. The craving was soooo strong. All sorts of emotions went through me. First it was envy, then jealously along with depression (I miss my old friend) and even anger. I snapped at my wife over something minor.
My head is all over the place. Just before I started writing this I was laying in bed crying. I've gone through so many mood swings today ( yes men get them too , its official).
One thing I have really been struggling with is staying off opiates. That is another little stupid addiction I have. The severe headaches I started to get from Alcohol got me hooked on them . Its a double edged sword.
I feel like my brain chemistry is a complete mess today. I'll continue fighting my alcoholism and to stay off the OTC meds too.
I apologize in advance about the readability of this post as my thoughts/emotions are a little chaotic at the moment.
Thanks for letting me get this out. I feel a little better.
I'm curious if anybody else was hit by huge changes in emotion/mood after a few weeks into sobriety.
