Thank you everyone for your comments. I do regularly see my obgyn and I have an appt next week. I need the harshness and the concerns hand in hand. I will not give exuses for my behaviors and I am woman enough to admit my faults. I thought I'd try something new this time to help me find and except my life in sobriety. I dont agree with the child abuse comment for I do know it could be a potential danger to my child but that is why I'm reaching out for support to help with something that has such a grip on me at times that I dont even understand. Please keep the comments comimg it really does help.