not suggesting you go from the pan to the fire, but i do agree with your friends, you do need to experience some normal fun and conversation.
Don't know how long its been since the two of you have been broken up, but I do not see a problem with meeting for coffee, dessert, a glass of wine, and sit back and savor the normalcy.
Remembering that's what helped me turn the corner and go forward, an adult conversation who didn't sound like he had a mouthful of marbles, absolutely refreshing.
If you are done, be done, go forward, just no more selfish active alcoholics!