Tizzkins,
The fact that you posted tells me that you are trying again, even after you've tried numerous times and came up short. That is true perseverance my friend. And as long as you keep trying, and as long as you don't give up, things will eventually begin to work in your favor.
I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't think you deserved help. But you do and we are here to do anything we can to keep you in the game.
Keep your head up and keep searching. You'll find what works for you.
Hang in there!