Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Santa....out in the world...away from your husband and immediate family...how would/do others describe you?......this might give you a clue to something......
what kind of feedback to you get from them?
You sound as if you might be, basically, an introvert? (not that these two things are necessarily related...lol)
dandylion
^This.
The whole time my (then)AH was telling me how negative I was & how rotten my attitude constantly was, many others around me simultaneously praised me for being such a positive influence & have such a great attitude.
I realized he was the ONLY one who thought of me this way. (and, of course, any of his drinking friends that didn't know me at all - which is why he wouldn't let me meet most of them, once they met me they saw who/how I really am)
I also realized that I was letting his ONE opinion weight 1000lbs & all of the others combined less than an ounce. Why was I letting my opinion of myself be so affected by HIS opinion & not the dozens of others? That was one of the thoughts that showed me a true example of codependency in my life & just how much I needed to change.