Originally Posted by
Santa 
Got this over the years from my XAH, and he still tells anyone who will listen that I am a miserable, unhappy person. Now my daughter (other thread) is on the same bandwagon.
Do others get this? I find it offensive. I don't tell other people, even the addicts in my life, how they feel. As a matter of fact, I'm not miserable. I am a serious person, always have been. I lead a quiet life, which I enjoy. A home-cooked meal, and watching a new episode of a favorite show with my dog on my lap, is a nice time to me. I like a good book. I work at home and I love the quiet and peace. I'm usually in a decent mood though I don't run around announcing it to everybody.
Is it that others can't imagine living this way, so they assume I'm miserable? Why don't they tend to their own business instead of psychoanalyzing me? My D who is facing a felony charge related to her drinking tells me I am an extremely negative person.
One of the best things I ever heard said about this was "Abusers (or, in your case, alcoholics) don't like it when you do well after they aren't a part of your life anymore because it proves they were a large part of the problem." By delving deep into who they think you are they never need to examine their own lives. I do this with my XAH sometimes and am learning to just let it alone and work on myself instead.
It's funny - I think many addicts/alcoholics are drawn to introverts because we can control ourselves, we can pursue some of life's quieter joys....and these are the very things they complain about later on. An interesting paradox, to say the least.