I really sympathize Stewy. Really.
I drank on top of those feelings. I knew that drinking would make it worse, but I did it anyway. What I didn't realize was how much worse it would be. Like falling into an infinite void that sucked up my self-hatred for fuel. I couldn't even get numb. Horror show stuff. Bad enough to remember -- I can't ever get drunk again.
Talk to your doctor. Mine gave me something for the anxiety which was really useful in the early weeks and sometimes still in bad situations.