Don't compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel.
You don't know what he's feeling. That's your imagination making things harder for you. Try to let it go.
You don't know what he is or isn't getting away with. I know you feel like you know each other inside and out but that's Hollywood talking. In real life, many people who are tremendously unhappy or in tremendous pain are freaking geniuses at putting up a good front.
And ultimately, how he's doing isn't your challenge. How YOU are doing is. Your states of being are not connected, except inasmuch as YOU BELIEVE they are.
Letting go is the hardest thing we ever learn to do. You are, believe it or not, already on the path to learning how to do it, and further along than you think. There is no substitute for time and space when it comes to healing and growing.
Hugs, Jodie. This is tough stuff but you will be okay.