I agree with everyone else as well.
Something that always holds me back is not finding acceptance. Once you can find acceptance, the fog will begin to lift.
Acceptance is huge.
Accepting he is what he is.
You are who you are.
The past is what it is.
Once that takes place you begin to move forward.
Another positive is that you ARE living through this. You ARE surving and you ARE working through it.
You aren't killing the pain with alcohol or substances. You are REALLY FEELING it and its a really good thing to do for yourself.
People that skip this part pay for it later, through more dysfunctional relationshios, or addictions. :/
Hugs my Dear.