An update
I don't know if some of you remember me. Around March of last year I had made an account on this site and really wanted to get sober...
On this very site I had confessed to the fact that I fell in love with the feeling of being flat out drunk and that I had an issue with alcohol. I was a binge drinker, with the main intent of getting drunk. I started out with the hard stuff. Vodka, tequila, gin, some whiskey (blech) and more. I then, knowing this wasn't healthy, decided to binge on beer, since I heard beer wasn't as hard on the body as hard alcohol. I then began to realize it can do the same kind of damage as hard alcohol can. I tried to cut back a bit, to no avail. I tried to stop drinking completely, and still, could not stop. It'd work for a week and then I'd have a string of binge drinking nights. I believe I got sober for a month and a week from this site, and then eventually relapsed, not knowing what happened.
One night, I went out with friends, I had three large servings of beer served in a pitcher and got behind the wheel of a brand new car I had bought for myself. A 2012 Ford Focus SE that I absolutely fell in love with. It was around 11:00 at night and I drove, going a bit too fast, and being way too drunk, I crashed into the curb, ruined the axle of the car and the car was deemed totaled. I was devastated, luckily, no cops had pulled over to see if it was the result of drunk driving. Just my parents came by and the AAA guy that came to tow the car away. This resulted in shame, guilt, and great stress. My parents had no idea that it had to do with my drinking, they just thought it was a result of me driving too fast.
A couple weeks later, at a family friends house we were house sitting, they had vodka, rum, and a whole collection of other kinds of alcohol. I had a glass of vodka, straight, sitting on the living room table in front of me. My mom (I suspect she knew what I was doing since she knew I had some problems with alcohol) decided to take a casual sip of it, since it looked like water, and she knew what it was. She immediately confessed that she was concerned for me. The mother of the boy that my mom was babysitting had come by to pick her son up. She had said what a lovely young man I was, and that I looked great (since I've lost a lot of weight in the past couple years). And this must have broken my mothers heart because she knew I had this problem with alcohol that no one else knew about. I had this secret demon. My mother wanted me to go through this program for alcoholics they had at a nearby hospital, outpatient. I decided, reluctantly, to go through with the program, but that was not before I could have my last drink.
A couple weeks later I went out with friends and got drunk at a club. I went in, wanting to hang out with friends but not wanting to drink. As if NOT drinking at a club was possible for me. I wanted to get sober badly and that night I crumbled. My friend offered me a large bottle of Corona so we could pre-game before the club in the car. It doesn't take a genius to know I got trashed that night.
I went through with the program that my mom referred me to, a program for alcoholics and addicts, and I'm glad to say I've been sober since May 9th of 2014. Just 3 days ago it's been 8 months that I've been sober. Within the 8 months of my sobriety I've thought about alochol, of course, but not as much as I tought I would. Every now and then I get a little urge, missing the buzz from drinking. Lately I haven't been thinking about it at all, I am currently going through a lot more in my life that I know I can not get through drunk, hell, it may even be impossible. If I can tackle getting sober, then I can tackle this hurdle that is yet to come.