Myrrah - I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my XABF to the same drug we used to use together. What helped me was to choose recovery. To this day, I often tuck him in my heart, tell him "let me show you what life is like in recovery!! I know you struggled with it, and I know you wanted it for me, so let's take a ride on recovery road!!"
I cry but I also smile. He would want this for you, I'm quite sure.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy