Myrrryha1:
My (our) hearts go out to you in your loss. Do this now as his memorial: Rid yourself of this habit, this curse, this slavery! Do it for Brennan. Every time (and there will be times, particularly at the beginning) every time that you feel a frantic urge to relapse, remember remember Brennan. Reach out to others in AA or some other program. Climb the long path together. And remember him. And do keep in touch with us here on this website. We will always be here for you. Now take this first step and may the sun shine on you and in the fullness of time may you be happier than you have ever been. Many of us have been where you are now and many have managed to climb the path to freedom.
Every good wish to you. Good luck.
W.