it was very hard for me to accept that they, as have i, made their choices--but true. my dad was more nurturing than my mom--they both pursued wealth relentlessly after poor childhoods...as a child i blamed dad for the physical violence and felt hurt that mother didn't stand up for me--eg when i wasn't able to learn to tell time or count money in third grade stuck with me but faded over the years--when dad had his 11years of strokes, i reached out to mom and dad to make sure they weren't lonely or without help with doctors--mom cut contact with me almost immediately and rest of family followed--i did therapy to confront and deal with the pain in order to give my husband and children my best--during that time i worked on forgiveness around child death snd when dad died--i was calm and at peace--but mom made her own choices--and i needed to let go and let god as my compulsive trying to apologize didn't work and brought me more pain and isolation. Glad i could release in love finally because it taught me to understand people a bit better and to start finally in the past 6 mos to start loving myselg--hard but necessary.