Originally Posted by
whitehorses 
I have been coming to this forum on and off for about 7 years. Last time i posted was 2012. I was so proud of myself..sober for 6 month. I thought i was "cured" i had been separate from my husband for 6 month at the time, after a 40 year marriage. And yes, the drinking was a factor in separation. I am now divorced, and have a lovely new man in my life. and yes..i am drinking again..all the deception ,and shame..and self loathing.
My partners wife was an alcoholic..and i have put the relationship to the test, to the extent where i stop drinking..or lose him. And if i carry on i will lose my life...inevitable.
I cant believe i could do this to him..he recorded my rantings on his phone last night, and played it to me this morning
i am now going to take back my power and control over this ruthless poison ...it is day one for me, have stocked up on tomato juice..water.. Horlicks..and nettle tea and am detoxing.
welcome.
You're not alone.
I also thought I was 'cured' and could go back to being a reasonable, normal drinker - despite three decades of obvious proof that wasn't who I was.
Gratefully, I discovered SR, got myself active and willing in AA, made a choice to live sober before it got worse and worse and worse.
Now over a year later I am feeling really great about my life. It's not always easy, but it is always better.
You can do this!