Thanks for sharing, Utopia. I finally came to a place where nearly 30 years of their abuse was enough for me to be content with never reconciling. There's too much pain in the past, and just letting it all go was best FOR ME. I don't have any expectations of my family for the future. My AM doesn't have anything to pass along because she drank and vacationed it all away (and most was financed on credit cards - my sister can inherit that debt as the oldest, thanks). No expectations = no resentments. It's what I've chosen after many, many long walks and talks with myself. I hope you're able to find a place where you are completely content and free of your past. (((HUGS)))