You guys are great! I had a long talk with my boys last night. They were asking about our 'trip', which led to other questions. I answered them honestly, even though I knew it was hard for them. The honesty I gave them when they were 4 and 5 is a lot different (and a lot tougher) than the honesty I give them at 8 and 9. I had them in counseling a couple of years ago, and am happy to say we were discharged from care. But I think more may be in order. I don't want them growing up thinking for one second this has anything to do with them. I also don't want them constantly searching for his love, attention and affection and running into a brick wall every time. It's hard enough to learn to let go as an adult, how in the heck do kids do it?