I usual only post in the November class thread but I have had an awakening of sorts and just thought I'd share for what it is worth.
I had alcohol on Thursday and it put me in a bit of a slump (long story about my plan and support network, etc.) and then on Friday we (the family) were going to go to OBX (a beach community about an hour away) to just get away for a few days and the first thought that popped into my head was how nice it would be to have a glass of wine (in my favorite wine glass, yes I have a favorite wine glass that my MOM bought me, I know
- which only reinforces my next point) on the deck watching the sun set over the sound. I thought how intertwined alcohol has become in my life (favorite wine glass...really just typing that makes me laugh) over the last 20-30 years and I stopped and asked myself...why would a glass of wine enhance that sunset? I didn't have an answer. I had thought Friday would have been tough after opening the door Thursday to having wine, the weekend, etc and then asked myself the same question...why would a glass of wine enhance my Friday evening? I didn't have an answer...so even though I have just gone back to day #2 - I've just found the AV's kryptonite. The beast is always lying to me telling me how good it will be to have wine during this or that and I've never stopped to ask...Why will wine be good? Why will it enhance the activity? There is no answer. Maybe some of you will read this and be like...duh
and maybe this is only a small step in my recovery, but for me it solidifies my awareness, acknowledgment and now acceptance that alcohol doesn't enhance anything.
Just thought I'd share. Happy Saturday everyone and as always thank you for all your support and encouragement.